Vampire Weekend simultaneously represents so much of what I hate and love about the American music scene. I’ll be the first to admit that their last album, Contra, caught my attention from about twenty seconds into its first track, “Horchata,” when songwriters Rostam Batmanglij and Ezra Koenig decided to stop dicking around with the thumb piano and put in some seriously legit South African vocal harmony and beats a la Graceland in the background. A lot of Contra represented what they had to offer the American music scene: a (kind of) rock band that proudly showcased West and South African music as one of its musical influences. They had the presence of mind to let it shine more often than not, and it was a breath of fresh air.

"We thought the Yachting club might think it droll if we featured a djembe."

So why am I still disappointed? To begin with, there are far too many extended moments where Ezra Koenig’s voice sounds like somebody’s stepped on his balls and forced him to whine about losing an elementary school soccer game. I’m convinced that he has potential – when he really lets it rip or doesn’t push it, it’s downright appealing and accomplishes the main goal of not getting in the way and providing a serviceable vocal track to accompany the band’s mostly quality instrumentations. But I can hardly listen to a whole track through without almost literally cringing at the emo. There’s a similar strain that we too often hear in the music, too. Put simply, they have allowed braying low-grade indie rock to infuse too high a percentage of your sound. The traditions they draw upon – rock and West / South African – are too noble to be sullied with such crap. Even if Pitchfork loves it.

The lyrics, too, are at complete odds with their music. I realize that many reviewers in such hip magazines such as Time and Rolling Stone (who recently featured the Bieb on its cover, so you can see where their tastes and readership lie) are enamored with the fact that they write about the travails of the educated classes, like being dumped at Cancun, but the lyrics need to grow up. I know it’s hard to sing about what you don’t know – so my suggestion is they experience some real hardship or really have their minds blown.

Honestly, Vampire Weekend, I think you need to suffer a little. You need to experience something really extreme, like go on a two month hunger strike or have yourselves driven to the middle of a Rio favela and get out while wearing business suits. At the very least you need to seriously commit to erasing the emo and the indie from Koenig’s voice and lyrics. You have the potential to be a defining band of this decade and you’re squandering your potential so you can hang out with the editors of Brooklyn Vegan. Don’t do shit like tour with the Shins; get someone unknown from the continent your music owes so much to. Or at least get a real rock act in on the same shows. Amp up the punk guitar we heard on songs like “Cousins.” Try to meet some seminal African musician like Toumani Diabate and just listen to what he has to play and say - that is, if he’ll deign to see you. And for God’s sake, please, please stop singing about Pellegrino drinks and allow your words to match the majestic, Afrobeat potential you so often tap into.

Your closest comparison is David Byrne – no small praise, indeed. He wasn’t Metallica, but he had something you guys seriously need: edge. And I’m not talking about “I got chlamydia from one of the three groupies I slept with last night so I’ll have to miss the America’s Cup” edge. I mean raw energy – the kind that transcends indie rock and finally has the balls to rock out (hell, it fucking destroys it). Beginning with 77 and continuing through Naked and later albums, there was alternatingly a rock, and, later, a punk undercurrent to the Brazilian and South African strains Byrne introduced. He allowed the geographies to converge, creating a new, yet still powerful sound. You’ve allowed indie music to influence your sound and vocal delivery to the point where I want to like your music, but I can’t bear to hear Koenig whine about upper-middle class nothingnesses. The indie strains and lyrics need to go. It’s time to grow up.

Vampire Weekend – Holiday by MMMusic